MY FIRST TIMES by: BottomsUp

Masturbation is a topic many people do not like to admit doing and or even discuss.

Why??!

We all do it!

And if you say you don't you're a god damn liar!

When I first realized that touching my dick felt great, I did it every single fucking day!

STILL DO!

Not only did I jerk off on a daily basis,

but I began to explore more deeper...

If you get my drift.

I began to experiment with anal play.

I was too young to buy sex toys and didn't even know they existed at this point in my life.

I was just a kid.

But...

there were items around the house I would use to XXXplore my deepest desires if you will.

Everything from a bowling pin shaped cologne bottle, hairbrush handles, pens, pencils, markers, screwdriver handles, fingers, broom handles...

I even placed a condom over a plunger,

then squatted on it in while masturbating and watched myself in the sliding glass mirror in the bathroom.

Man if that mirror could fucking talk!

I used to sit on the toilet seat with my legs over my shoulders and play with my asshole,

all while staring at myself in that shower door mirror and jacking off.

I even ate my own cum!

I loved doing that.

I also knew I wanted a dick in my ass!

(Not counting my being molested by a relative)

At 15, I finally got my wish.

He was 14.

It was awkward and not very good.

At 16 I got my first taste of black dick.

It wasn't all that either.

I was beginning to think that playing with my own hole was better than dick!

When I finally got a taste of some good dick,

(He later became a transexual)

I became a full fledged ho!

Sucking and fucking every dick I could find and loving every minute of it.

I grew obsessed with porn and had a large variety of both film and magazines.

LOVED IT!

I would jack off with other male friends,

and sometimes we took nude photos of one another with a Polaroid camera.

I still have those photos today.

I received my first sex toy at 17.

I gave my older gay cousin the money and told him what I wanted.

"A dick shaped vibrator!"

He bought me a HUGE one!

Needless to say I fucked that vibrator for years!

I stuck it between the couch cushions to hold it in place and rode that fucker til the cows came home!

When my mother started to figure out my being gay,

she also became nosey and began to snoop.

I was so paranoid that mom would find my toy,

so I tossed that giant dick shaped dong into the woods next

to our house.

Funny thing though...

Years later my dad was walking in the woods and found that god damned 12 inch rubber dick!

It was all dry rotted and molded.

I was horrified but was also laughing hysterically inside.

Little did he know that dick was deep inside his sons little asshole many many many many many fucking times!

Hell...

it may still be in those woods today!

He never threw it away that I know of.

lol

Too fuckin funny!

Well there ya have it folks.

The true story of my two first times.

Guess I will sign off for now.

Gotta jack it and hit the sack!

Good night to all!

MADONNA AND SEX by:BottomsUp

Let's just cut to the chase here folks.

I am fucking obsessed with Madonna!
She taught me to be honest and proud of my sexuality, and to never be ashamed of who you are.
This is what makes Madonna...well...Madonna!
Without her existence, I don't know if I would have survived.

As a kid growing up the Midwest, I was this quiet little lost gay soul.

No role models and no one to look up to.

Then one day in the early 80's....

it all changed!

I discovered this woman on my television screen rolling around singing about boys and sex.

With her teased hair, ripped leotards, pouty red lips, see through bra, and well choreographed dance moves...

She oozed sex like no other woman in music and had a rebellious attitude to match.

She caused chaos and controversy wherever she went,

and professed her love for the gays from day one of her career.

I had finally found my idol and role model!
And...
SHE WAS FROM THE MIDWEST TOO!

Parents around the world were flipping the fuck out at their daughters (and even sons like myself) who copied her look and became Madonna wannabes over night.

Her concerts sold out arenas and stadiums worldwide,

and her music and videos left us all wanting more.

In 1985, and as her career was in full swing, Madonna was about to get a shock of her own.

Photos were published in both Playboy and Penthouse depicting a not yet famous and nude Madonna in various poses.

After moving to NYC to pursue her dreams,

Madonna had done some nude modeling to make ends meet.

The images were not hardcore, but did show Maddy in what some would call "a less than flattering light".

With her hairy pits and full bush exposed...

Madonna's response to these images being released was in typical Madonna fashion...

But...

not everyone was amused.

Whore, slut, and bitch, are just some of the many many negative words used to describe this sacriligious sex pot spawn of Satan.

My moms church even did a sermon on the dangers of singers like Madonna!

NO JOKE!

(That's the fucking Pentecostals for ya)

Controversy would continue to be this little ladies claim to fame for many many years to come.

Like it or not ladies and gentleman...

Madonna had arrived!

And in October of 1992, so had SEX.

Madonna's infamous Sex book that is!

 

The book was released by Madonna as an accompaniment to her fifth studio album Erotica, which was released a day earlier.

The extremely controversial book featured strong adult content and softcore pornographic photographs depicting simulations of sexual acts, which included sadomasochism and analingus.

Madonna wrote the book as a character named Mistress Dita, inspired by 1930's film actress Dita Parlo.

Featured in the book, aside from unknown models, are actress Isabella Rossellini, rappers Big Daddy Kane and Vanilla Ice, model Naomi Campbell, gay porn star Joey Stefano, actor Udo Kier, the European socialite Tatiana von Fürstenberg, and nightclub owner Ingrid Casares.

For the release of Sex Madonna gave a party at New York City's Industria Superstudio,

which she attended dressed as Little Bo Peep with a stuffed toy lamb.

Warner Bros. Records and Time Warner executives were reluctant to allow Madonna to create such a book, and although they eventually gave her permission, they remained greatly opposed to the idea.

A huge public "buzz" preceded the book's release, generating massive publicity.

Several organizations tried to boycott the sale of the book, while many book stores refused to carry it.

There were many negative essays by critics that considered Sex to be a calculated controversy timed to boost sales of Madonna's new album.

Soon after the release of the book there came a phenomenon which was considered to be a "Madonna backlash", with many people feeling that the singer had finally "gone too far".

In spite of the controversy and negative reviews, Sex sold 150,000 copies on the day of its release in the USA alone.

Three days later all 1.5 million copies of the first edition were sold out worldwide, making Sex the most successful coffee table book ever released.

 The bookstore chain Waldenbooks sold 22,000 copies of the book on the day of its release, and commented to MTV that they had never once seen a book sell out so quickly.

There will only be one Madonna!

She has paved the way for so many other artists and literally tore down many barriers for both women and the gay community.

Madonna is a one woman army who cannot be duplicated.

GaGa who?????

POINT TO PONDER

Why??!

"Way to fuck everything up for gaspers everywhere David Fucking Carradine" aka "My trip down Erotic Asphyxiation Lane" by MollyX

"Hey, you guys ever play that choking game in junior high." And just like that I stepped into the dangerous and dark world of Erotic Asphyxiation. Little did I know that it would bring me the best orgasm of my life. Erotic Asphyxiation has been a hot topic in the last 6 months (thank you David Carradine).

And although it's getting a ridiculous amount of media coverage right now, it's hardly new. Erotic asphyxiation was first documented in the 1600's as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. This became a practice after it was noted that several men developed a raging hard on when executed by hanging. It's called "Angel Lust." Cute, right? Who knew? Not a bad way to go if you ask me. A necrophiliacs dream. But I digress....So......."Did you ever play that choking game in Jr. High School?" I'm hanging out with three of my male classmates (one of which is now my husband) after rehearsal. It's around one in the morning and the floor is empty. "What the fuck is that?" I ask. "It's where you choke each other until you pass out." "What the fuck!" (that's me talking) "Why the hell would you wanna do that?" "You know, to get high." Now, I've done some seriously STUPID SHIT to get off in the past, particularly in Jr. high. I thought I'd done it all. Everything from huffing gas to accidentally dropping five hits of liquid acid on my tongue, but this shit?!? I missed this shit somehow. "Yeah, it's easy" my friend B says. "You bend over, breathe in and out really fast, and then someone presses on the sides of your neck. It's crazy. You should try it!" I know some or you would say that a group of thirty year old adults playing the choking game is asinine and retarded. And I would agree with you. Nevertheless.........I'll try anything once. So I find my self, bent over, surrounded by three guys, breathing heavy, and getting the living Jesus choked out of me (so similar to my favorite flavor of porn, it's ridiculous). Suddenly, everything starts to go dark and...I like it. Really, really, really like it. In retrospect it's a good thing I didn't discover this when I was thirteen because, if I had, I would have killed so many brain cells by now that I'd be stuck in a wheelchair , drool rolling down my chin and sitting in the pile of shit that's been marinating in my adult diaper for the last three weeks.

I start to hear B yelling. He's at the end of long, dark tunnel. He's shouting "Stop it! Stop! Okay you guys Stop!" and the whole world rushes back as my husband releases his death grip from my neck. The other two are laughing their asses off while B is dancing in the corner freaking out. "I'm sorry, but that started to scare the shit out of me!" he says. What a pussy.

Flash forward a year and a half. My husband (then boyfriend) are in a seedy L.A. motel with blue velvet wallpaper and plush carpeting and tearing into each other. Raping each other. Things are violent. Sexy. Dangerous. He grabs me by the neck and fucks me as he squeezes. And inspiration hits. "Stand up." he says. "Now bend over." Things are about to get exciting. "Now breathe....hard!" He locks his hands around my throat and bends me back on the bed. And then....hold on....three minute bean flick break. I'm sorry, but even writing about this shit gets me wet............Okay, I'm back. So....He locks his hands around my throat and bends me back on the bed. Everything disappears. I'm in a dream state. Where am I? I have no idea. I can see the outline of a man above me. I have no idea who he is. And......HE'S FUCKING ME!!!! How did I end up here with this mad rapist. And why does it feel so fucking good. I'm terrified and confused and experiencing the most thrilling fuck of my entire life. The orgasm comes first. Earth shattering, mind blowing come. And then I realize who he is. It's my boyfriend. We're in the shit motel. He's fucking my brains out. And. I. Love. It. For the next few months everyday is fucking Christmas. It's so terrifying, and thrilling, and bad, and dangerous. And in a macabre way, it brings us closer together. Allowing someone to strangle you into unconsciousness with their dick in you is a bonding experience, believe it or not. It takes an incredible amount of trust. You have to give up total control. Your life is in their hands. All is right in the world....until MOTHERFUCKING DR.FUCKING PHIL FUCKS IT ALL UP FOR ME.

After ass hat Carradine offs himself, the doctor starts going on a anti-choking game campaign. He packs his stage with weeping mothers and condescending doctors talking about what a horrible dangerous fucked up practice it is and how idiot kids are dropping like flies from it. And just like that....I'm psychologically cock blocked. Fuck you Dr. Phil. Now, every time my husband even hints at doing it, I dry up like the goddamn Mojave Desert. Dr. Phil has turned be into a sniveling, terrified, crying little pussy.

But I have to confess...it was magic while it lasted. Goddamn Disney Land. I miss it. Why does the mass media have to ruin everything fun (weep,weep)? Anyway, when it comes to Erotic Asphyxiation, I give it a VERY ENTHUSIASTIC FIVE SQUIRT!

 

*insert disclaimer here* *insert disclaimer here**insert disclaimer here**insert disclaimer here*

 

Okay you little shits. Here's the disclaimer. Erotic Asphyxiation is very dangerous. Ask Oprah. She'll tell you. It can result in cardiac arrest, brain damage, and/or death. And never never never do it alone, or you'll end up like you know who. Not mentioning any names here.

So there. That's my disclaimer. So now when you off yourself on accident by wrapping a belt around your neck and attaching it to your shower rod while dressed in your sisters panties, with duct tape wrapped around your ball and a wad a spooge sliding down the drain, your mom can't call the fucking Dr. Phil show and then sue me in civil court! So there! Choke it at your own risk! Peace.

LARGE SHROOM DILDO: Reviewed by BottomsUp

Due to  my extreme love for anal play...
I wanted to try a little sumthing sumthin new.
So...

I smoked a little reef and headed off to the adult store for a new anal toy.

Now...

I can handle a good sized dick and pride myself on that.

So...

I decided to try a toy which would challenge my love for a good dick.

My choice...

THE SHROOM DONG.

Total Length - 8.5 Inches

Insertable Length - 7.5 Inches

Minimum Thickness - 2.75 Inches

Minimum Circumference - 8.5 Inches

Maximum Thickness - 4.25 Inches

Maximum Circumference - 13 Inches

YEAH EXACTLY

Not only was I planning to take on this giant mold spore,

I was also going to film myself using it for the first time with my video camera.

After I pay the cashier and endure his trying hard not to laugh at this white boy who just bought a smurf house to shove up his ass...

I was on my way!

Let's not forget this rubber dong weighs as much as a severed head.

I felt like I had commited a crime just by taking it home!

Once I was back in the privacy of my own bedroom,

I set up the video equipment and smoked a bit more reef.

It was now time!

(I ALSO DOUCHED THOROUGHLY BEFORE)

Without further adeu...

I began to lube up my tight hole and this giant rubber shroom.

It felt as if I was rubbing butter on a stillborn infant that had been dead for 3 days and left in the woods

behind an old barn.

It was cold and hard.

With the camera rolling,

I began my journey into what I thought was going to be true anal bliss.

What I got was...

a shredded and bloody asshole!

I was screaming and moaning like someone being fucked violently with a baseball bat!

Not to mention...

I was afraid to pull Papa Smurfs house from my ass for fear my insides would be attached!

After an excrutiating few minutes,

I slowly removed the flesh toned fire hydrant from my butchered ass.

It was a bloody mess!

I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when buying this huge ass monster dong.

Not sure if the weed had impaired my ability to think or what the fuck.

Oh and yeah...

The god damn video camera was still rolling and captured the entire Rosemary's Baby scene as it unfolded.

I laid on the floor for what seemed to be an eternity and breathed a sigh of relief.

The nightmare was over.

It took DAYS for my asshole to regain its composure and become normal again.

LESSON FUCKING LEARNED FOLKS!

Final analysis:

 Leave these large anal toys to the professionals!

If you are seeking a bit of danger and excitement in the anal department...

I suggest you leap out of an airplane over Manhattan and impale yourself anally on the Empire State Building!

You will get the EXACT same result!

I hate this dildo and hope it burns in hell.

RATING: ZERO SQUIRTS!

SMARTBALLS: Reviewed by MollyX

Mmmmmmmm......k. Let's talk a little about something called Smartballs. Have you seen these, have you heard of these? Fun Factory (the manufacturer) says that Smartballs are "vaginal exercise balls." But let's be real here folks. They're a pair of Chinese Baoding Balls with a plastic cover and a rubber band attached to the bottom of them so you don't permanently lose them in your coochie.

I was interested in them because I read an article saying the harder you exercise your kegals, the better your orgasm (which I'm always a big fan of). So, I'm sitting at work one day (I work in a sex shop...kind of) and I turn to my male co-worker and say, "You know what. I'm gonna get me some Smartballs." So I buy them and, being the ridiculously impatient person that I am, I decide to go into the bathroom at work to try them out. They're very easy to insert (a lot like putting in a tampon) and relatively comfortable. So, I'm thinking "not so bad." And then......I start to walk. Oh...My....God....You....Guys! It was like a fucking slinky had gotten trapped in my vag and was trying to walk all over my cervix.

THEY MOVE. I MEAN REALLY REALLY MOVE. It was a crazy sensation. It reminded me of being pregnant and feeling a baby move for the first time. Totally surreal and somewhat alien....as in sci-fi alien. But it wasn't "unpleasant." Just a little bizarre. So I figure, what the hell, I'll keep them in and see how it goes. We close down the store and I head out for the evening, jingling my way down the sidewalk like a fucking tambourine. I get...oh.....about 1/2 a block I'd say, and I feel something shift. I walk a few more steps...and feel a distinct POP! Jesus fucking Christ, the shit is falling out of my pussy. One ball is completely out of my cooter and I'm squeezing my vag with all the strength I can muster to keep the other fucker in. I'm panicking. This is the middle of summer and I'm wearing a skirt, so I'm just waiting for the balls to hit the ground and roll down the sidewalk. I'm trying to slyly push them back in. Trying to duck in doorways and shove a finger up my skirt, but no...the shit is just dangling there. It was like giving birth to a bobble head. So I spend the rest of the train ride, standing, sweating balls (no pun intended) and praying to god that this shit is not gonna come crashing out of my box and onto the floor of the fucking Q train. I got home, inching down the street to my apartment with my knees held so tightly together I looked like a muscular dystrophy patient that has to take a massive shit. I took those fuckers out, scrubbed them and threw them in the back of my closet. I haven't seen them sense. Now, I'm not saying that they're a bad product. If you’re really dedicated to building up your kegal muscles, I think that you'd really appreciate Smartballs. But for someone like me, who was mostly just curious, ummmm.....I'd pass. To me they're just a little too invasive and creepy. Unless you like the feeling of your uterus being stuffed with 8 million caterpillars.

 If that's the case, then go for it!!! Totally. And if you hate them, they’d always make for a pretty fabulous cat toy? That’s not a bad idea. Maybe I’ll have to donate them to Bottoms Up for his kitties. What you think? I hope his pussies like them better than mine did.

Two squirts.

Pros: Nice design, easy to use, can enhance orgasm, good for getting kegals back into shape after pregnancy, affordable.

Cons: If you're a total moron like me, can lead to public humiliation. If worn around others, they may start looking around to see who keeps playing the opening chorus of "Carol of the Bells." Certain creepiness factor.

Product description: The following product description is from http://www.funfactory.de/
SMARTBALLS will let you experience a wide range of emotions and motion, because their friendly texture will give way to intimate massage, from slow and smooth initially, then shifting slowly to ever more caressing and exciting feelings so hard to describe you just have to go out of your way to get a hold of them. They will become your new best friend in a heartbeat.
SMARTBALLS are made of hypoallergenic Elastomed, which is very durable and very easy to clean. The unique design, velvety smooth surface and SMARTBALLS –a deeply feminine pleasure numerous color combinations are pleasing to the eye.

POINTS TO PONDER: by BottomsUp

Yeah exactly.

I need not say anything.

How bout you?

ANAL DOUCHING 101

You would be surprised to hear how many gay men do not clean their ass before getting fucked!

Yeah..no shit.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME FOLKS??!

I had someone tell me that I should be more spontaneous and stop worrying so much about having a clean hole.

He told me that gay men know what anal play can produce so it's no big deal.

Ummmmmm...FUCK YOU!

Listen up you nasty ass mother fuckers!

CLEAN YOUR GOD DAMN ASSHOLE OUT!

NOBODY WANTS TO BE SHIT ON UNLESS THEY ARE INTO SCAT!

THAT'S IT!  END OF STORY!

Shoving your finger in your shitter is NOT an ass cleansing method.

You must get deep inside and clean the shit out.

It's called an anal douche!

Let me say it one more time...

ANAL DOUCHE!

This is the one I use.

They are NOT expensive and they fucking work!

I douche my asshole all the time folks and let me say...

I have never shit on anyone..not even a pebble!

Now that's advertising.

And it's not just shit.

It's shit chips and flakes and streaks and pepples and lettuce strings and whatever the fuck else your asshole has up in there.

In case you didn't know...

a dick goes up your ass and pumps in and out creating a vacuum...

it will pull out shit you have hidden inside.

NOT CUTE.

No guy wants to pull out their dick and see shriveled lettuce leaves and creamed corn mixed with doo doo!

Come on folks.

It does not take long to douche.

If your man or men cannot wait for you to properly cleanse your ass so you both can have an enjoyable time...

DUMP HIS ASS!  KICK HIS ASS TO THE FUCKING CURB!

Cause he is one dirty mother fucker and deserves to get shit on...

BY SOMEONE ELSE!

Us guys with clean holes need to unite and stand proud.

DOUCHE MOTHER FUCKERS!  DOUCHE!

Rated: 5 STARS

Molly X's Point to Ponder for today

I'm pondering why in the name of Jesus this girl I'm sitting next to has a pussy that smells just like a raw potato. I'm waiting for her vag to plop out one of those science experiments you did in the second grade where you take a mason jar, stick a bunch of toothpicks in a spud, shove it on top of the jar and watch it grow roots and shit.

I guess some women are fishy, some cheesy, others are yeasty, and this babe has got some seriously starchy shit going on. I mean, the chick is a box of Argo Cornstarch with legs.Why is that? Do discuss.  But on the bright side, this sticky hoe has inspired me to go to McDonalds for lunch and munch down on some of the salty goodness of their supersized fries. Yum!!!!

CLASSIC ANAL PROBE: Reviewed by BottomsUp

One of my very first anal toys was the "Classic anal probe".

This is a great anal toy!!

The classic anal probe is easy to use with a well designed grip handle.

The tip is approx 2" in diameter and the shaft around 7" long, with an overall length of 12".

You control the depth and speed with the handle and can easily stroke the prostate while lying on your back.

FUCKING LOVE THIS TOY!

It may be simple...

but it makes me cum again and again.

It's an oldie but goodie.

The ball tip kind of POPS in and you can feel your asshole pulling for more.

Well...

mine does anyway.

This is one of those probes you can slam your hole with once you get it inside.

HARD!

The deeper the better with this lovely piece of anal gold.

FINAL ANALYSIS:

Love this toy!  Everyone who loves anal should have one.

rated: 5 SQUIRTS

FETISH TALK with BottomsUP

Let's talk about Fetish for a minute.

Some people are into rubber..leather..bondage..etc.

I...

am into armpits.

Why u ask??

I honestly have no idea.

Ever since I was a kid I can remember being turned on by the armpits of men.

Now don't get get it twisted folks...

I am NOT turned on by armpit funk!

I cannot stand body odor of any kind...especially funky ripe pits.

I am turned on by the hair itself.

There is nothing sexier than a sexy latino thug in a wife beater with those sexy hairy pits exposed.

It's my obsession.

Armpit hair is very personal and revealing to me...

It gives you an idea of what's below.

I love to lick them.
Yeah I said it.

When it comes to guys though...

I used to be more attracted to smooth men.

But now...

I am more into hairy guys.

Now I am not talking about a hairy backed sasquatch werewolf mother fucker.

FUCK THAT.

I'm just not into extreme body hair.

I love hairy legs, pits, treasure trails, and uncut dicks...

YUMMMMMMMMMMM!

THE GOOD FELLOW: Reviewed by BottomsUp

The Good fellow...The Good Fellow...The Good Fellow! 

Hmmmmm..Where should I start??

Yes it's true as my friend said below...

the Good Fellow is like trying to shove a live fish in a pop bottle.

By the time that slippery fucker gets in your ass you need a fucking nap!

(and Ben Gay for that torn muscle in your arm from trying to get the son of a bitch in your ass)

Once inside it felt great except for one thing..

after a bit of hardcore fucking...

it felt like pulling a dry knee high sock out of your ass!

NOT CUTE LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

It started to dry up.

Now I have tried damn near every lube known to man.

So...

short of using motor oil on my tight kittenlike asshole I don't know what else to tell you.

It feels nice to touch..it comes in a variety of colors..

BUT

For me...

it was like pulling put an iguana backwards from your asshole.

Then again...

maybe I just haven't found the right lubricant.

I would try it again sometime.

Final Analysis:

Other than the Good Fellow feeling like a pretzel rod being removed from the anus...

it seems to be a well made toy.

And again...

maybe I need a new lube.

Pretzel rod anyone??

Rated: 2 SQUIRTS

THE GOODFELLOW aka HOW MOLLY X FOUND A SOLUTION TO HER PENIS ENVY

Hello ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to introduce you to my favorite new toy.......the Goodfellow by Vixen. I have to make something profoundly clear. I have always had some serious, deep rooted penis envy.This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate (yes. that's a fucking dickens quote. I know it's retarded but I'm half drunk and it's my blog so, fuck off). Yes guys. I'll be the first to stand up and say it. Penis envy is alive and well and thriving in the 21st century. I have a ongoing fantasy that I'm a German farmer in the 17th century and everyday i wake up and harvest my wheat until the sun goes down and I return home to plow my beautiful redheaded Irish wife that has given birth to my 8 strapping sons with my huge dick and then curl up and go to sleep on our sheep skin sheets.  I don't pretend to understand why this has been an ongoing thing for me. I don't care. All I care is that it has continued to get me off over the years. I've also been blessed with a sexually adventuresome husband who loves anal. We've been playing around with a strap on for the last three years. The challenge is always finding a size that's comfortable for him and, of course, a bucket of lube. We've been stuck with this kinda lousy hard red scaly thing. It looks like The Predators dick. And judging by the look on my husbands face when I tried to cram it in his asshole, it FELT like The Predators dick. So we've long been on the hunt for a realistic looking strap on with life like texture that wouldn't quadruple the circumference of my poor husbands butt hole. After months of looking we found it.....THE GOODFELLOW!!!

When we opened the box I couldn't have been more excited. It's very lifelike and comes complete with veins and balls. I spent the first half an hour running around with it on, whacking my new cock on various surfaces and making my husband rub wieners with me. It was a riot. The most fun I've had in months. Then it came down to actual insertion time....and we ran into a little trouble. Our previous anal experiences have taught us the absolute necessity of lubricant in anal play, so we rubbed that baby down. It was like a goddamn slip n slid. Then I tried to insert it. It was like trying to push a live fish through a bottle top. That fucker was slipping and rolling around all over the place. . I couldn't even locate my husbands asshole without a magnifying glass. Everything was wet wet wet and slick as hell and not in a good way. I was so eager to make a go of this thing that the second I felt an opening in the anus, I made a wild plunge for it and rammed that thing up his butt like the running of the bulls. And then.....I hear this load POP!!!!!!! We both freeze. He's all red in the face, saying through a clenched jaw "take...it....out....SLOWLY...take..it...out." Which I did..... slowly. But we were determined and went for round two. After a little effort, we hit a home run!!!  It was nothing short of incredible. The realistic look was such a turn on. I loved watching myself fuck him annd he had a seriously intense orgasm. He almost had and immediate double! Which would have been a first for us. It was a total success. We tried it again the next night and had a much easier time. I highly recommend this toy for any tranny loving, cross gender inclined, or just plain old adventurous couple. Come on kids!! Give it a go!!!

Four Squirts!

Pros: Life-like, easy to clean, attractive, can be used with most harnesses, great size for the intermediate anal player.

Cons: Can be difficult to get a grasp on this little fucker! But once you've tamed him, he's well worth the work!

Product Description: The Goodfellow Dildo line comes in four colors. Realistic and harness compatible, the dual density of the Goodfellow adult toy, combined with the revolutionary Vixskin material, results in a feeling so real it just might pass the blindfold