CHINESE MASSAGE AND STAR WARS by: BottomsUp

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TROJAN MAGNUM FIRE AND ICE CONDOM: BY MOLLYX

So ladies......Got my hands on a Trojan Fire and Ice Condom which will be released to the public this summer. You can either pick up a box.......

Or you can purchase a tube of Bengay and squeeze it in your cootchie.

You'll get the same effect. And you know what? I'm not even kidding. Totally hated it. TWO THUMBS DOWN! Unless you have a sprained uterus. Then Trojan Fire and Ice is the way to go.

PEEP BOOTH SUCK by: BottomsUp

Growing up gay in the Midwest sucked!

All the porn shops catered to nothing but heteros and the gay bathhouses were lame.

I always wanted to go into a peep booth and see what goes on.

There is a side of me who thinks like a filthy low budget porn star!

I want to suck 100 dicks while getting my ass pounded by a room full of Latin thugs and take all their cum down my throat!

See...I told you.

I am a dirty mother fucker.

After moving to New York City I began to explore my fantasy side a bit more.

You don't have to hide your sexuality here and there are gay porn shops at every fucking corner!

After a night of intense drinking...

I decided to stop in to a peep booth on Eighth Avenue.

I felt my heart race with anticipation as I began my walk towards booths.

There were guys all over the place.

I was getting cruised by every ugly mother fucker in the place at first.

I immediately began to regret walking in.

But...

I kept on.

Here's what happens folks....

If you find someone you are interested in you try and find booths next to one another.

(Which is not an easy task on a Saturday night!)

When you find two open booths which are side by side...

you enter.

Each peep booth has an open window which is maybe 4 inches high.

They do not open completely.

Once inside you must immediately feed a dollar into the slot and pick a film to watch.

If you wait too long to pay an employee will knock on your door and tell you to leave.

FEED THE MACHINE QUICKLY TO AVOID THIS.

Once the film begins the lights go down as if you are in a theatre.

This is when you and the guy in the next booth begin to make signals.

If you get the guy who immediately gets on his knees next to the slot and motions with his tongue...

he obviously wants to suck your dick.

Which is what I had happen a few times before finding the perfect specimen this night.

Everytime I went into a booth there was someone wanting to suck me off.
FUCK THAT.
I wanted to suck some dick.
Finally...
There was a sexy Latino who kept cruising me.
It was on!
Once we found adjoining booths...
he just sat there rubbing himself through his jeans.

I didn't know what to do.

Being that I was drunk I decided to make my move.

I bent down and started watching him touch himself.

Once he saw I was interested in that...

he stood up and pulled down his pants.

He had a nice uncut dick and was stroking that shit all slow and delicious like.

My asshole started chewing on my underwear.

It wanted that dick!

Next thing I knew he walked up and stuck his dick through the opening.

I shoved it down my throat!

I sucked and sucked while jacking myself in the process.

It didn't take long for him to cum and I took it all down my throat.
Now...
I do NOT usually do things like this!
But..
I wanted some dick and I got some.
As soon as I gulped down the last drop of his hot Latin love juice,
I shot my load too.

(ALL OVER MY FUCKING JEANS!)

Yeah..NOT CUTE!
As quick as I sucked this guy off..
I was gone.
I quickly pulled up my jeans and got the fuck out of there!
I never saw Pablo, Jose, Chino, Miguel, or whatever his name was again.

I had done it!

I conquered my peep booth fear and it felt great.

The next day I felt a bit disgusting.

I had sucked a strangers dick in a peep show booth!

Needless to say though...

it would not be my last time.

I went back a few more drunk nights and sucked a sexy Middle Eastern dick..an Asian dick..another Latin dick..

I even got my own dick sucked by a 2 foot 4 inch tall Mexican guy..and again by an Asian twink.

They both swallowed.

If you have ever wanted to explore your hidden freaky side and try the world of peep booths..

DO IT!

The fun is in the filth aspect of it.

Plus...the cruising part can be lots of fun as well.

If you don't see any guys you are interested in then leave.

U can always come back later in the night and try again.

I can guarantee you will find someone to fulfill your fantasy.

TRY IT!

RATED 5 STARS!

Well...if you are drunk that is.

A GIRL IS GONNA GET HERS NO MATTER WHAT or WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH GUYS WHO ARE INTIMIDATED BY DILDOS?!?! by MollyX

There is nothing more pathetic than a guy who is intimidated by a vibrator. Case in point... my ex husband. Boys...rest at ease. No matter how many times we tickle the taco with a vibrator or a dildo, we are never going to stop craving your cock. We will never leave you for a sex toy (except maybe my rabbit. We have fantasized about running away together more than once, but nevertheless...). I married (the first time) at a very young age. When my husband discovered my cheap ass plastic pathetic excuse for a vibrator he was horrified and instantly demanded I throw it in the trash.

 But kids.... you can't keep a good girl down. So I quickly started devising a plan to get a vibe back in my life. After weeks of eyeballing...

 and my

and even my

I figured out a fail proof plan. It was nearing Christmas, and at the top of my wish list, I asked for a "back massager." I was happy as a pedophile at Disneyland when Christmas morning I unwrapped "The Thumper." This motherfucker looks like my moms antique Hoover.

It weighs about 75 lbs, has two vibrating heads, and a heat option. The next morning, I waited for my husband to go to work, plugged that sucker in, and went to town. The thing was like having a construction worker jackhammer your clit up into your throat. WAAAAAAAAAAY too strong! But I wasn't about to let that stand in my way. I threw on a pair of panties, unrolled some tube socks, lay them over my pussy, and went for round two with a nice protective layer of cushioning. About three minutes into it.... SUCCESS! Not the most amazing experience ever, but it was tolerable. And my husband spent the next three years thinking I had some serious back problems, cause that shit was plugged in by the bed everyday when he came home from work. But the moral of the story is...guys, come to terms with the fact that no matter how good of a lay you are, or how amazing your cock is, your wife or girlfriend is going to flick it. So deal. If my ex had come to terms with it, I would have been spared one seriously bruised labia and an astronomically high sock bill.